So I’m almost looking forward to going back to work and having a set routine (almost, not quite). Because I am exhausted! I’m supposed to be feeling relaxed, but it’s been like an emotional rollercoaster with this stupid injury.
So after two full rest days on Sunday and Monday (well I went running and swimming), I had two successful kayaking sessions. A relaxed 10k on Tuesday and a full on session on Wednesday during which I felt strong and fast. And my arm was fine!
When I woke up on Thursday, it was instant pain. Even just flexing my fingers made my forearm hurt. It’s this really wierd painful, quite sharp ache. I knew I wouldn’t be able to race this weekend, which is horrible because it’s a low pressure race i’ve been looking forward to.
I kept it together most of that morning, stayed calm and messaged the girl I was supposed to be racing with in K2 (double man kayak) to cancel. Then I rang my dad to let him know, and all the sadness came pouring out. Anyone who is a regular injury sufferer will understand the frustration – have a look at my post on my journey with injury
I honestly don’t think anyone has changed their mind about something as many times as I have this week. Do I take this year off kayaking? I feel mentally and physically drained. I’m not feeling particularly happy. I will always be fitness obsessed but I would like to focus a bit more on running, yoga, even just morning walks.
I want to wake up in the morning and listen to my body and have a choice about whether or not I want to work out, without a feeling of guilt. My happiness means more to me than a European medal. And i’m not happy right now. Am I continuing because of what I want or because of my fear of letting certain people down?
Anyway, after that minor breakdown I started yesterday and today with an early morning walk in the beautiful sunshine. I swear there is nothing better to improve your mood. Besides there were so many dog walkers out so I got to say hi to a lot of dogs.