2019 is going to be a turning point for me. It is a year when I am going to prioritise my health and happiness over trying to win medals.

I have kayaked for over a decade, and seriously for the past five years. I became very focused on international selection, but often lost sight of the enjoyment of the sport.

In the past I have also struggled with disordered eating and recently I have found it difficult to eat enough for the intense training required to be an elite athlete.

In 2018 I realised I was going through the motions of training twice a day, but I had lost the desire to win that came so naturally the year before.

In February 2019 I suffered an arm injury, and after struggling to continue training I decided that the best thing for my physical and mental health was to take a break.

I have never voluntarily stopped kayaking before, and initially I had to deal with feelings of guilt, and the concern that I was throwing away something i’ve worked so hard for.

I love sport and think it’s an amazing thing to compete at a high level. I could still try for the European Championships next year, but right now I’m allowing myself a break.

Without training the days suddenly have so much more room. I feel less restricted. I’m so excited to try different things, to train the way I want, to spend time learning new skills.

My priority is now a sustainable healthy lifestyle. I’m interested to see how less training and a greater focus on listening to my body will affect me both physically and mentally.

I want to share this process and what i’ve learnt as a young amateur athlete dedicated to her sport.

I just want to be the healthiest, happiest version of myself possible, and i’d be over the moon if this blog could help even one person along the same journey.

Jenny xx

Feeling positive